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Personal Development Blog

12/2/2020 1 Comment

Manage Difficult Interactions in Three Steps

Instead of managing difficult interactions, we sometimes entertain the worst-case scenario. Thinking about the worst-case affects our ability to be objective. At that point, we’re not at our best.
 
I offer that making the best of a difficult interaction, whether it’s personal or professional, is a three-step process.
 
Read on to find out what you can do to get through a tough discussion.
 
Step One: Before the interaction (choose what’s best for you)
  1. Be proactive and establish a time to convene, don’t leave them hanging
  2. Take care of your needs to feel comfortable: quick walk, deep breaths, snack or glass of water
  3. Clear your mind of unrealistic fears, relax
  4. Gather information that could be helpful to everyone during the discussion
  5. Establish your boundaries for the least you’ll accept from the interaction – be realistic
  6. Talk about your boundaries with a trustworthy and objective person – be open to making adjustments
  7. Take care of your spirit and find your optimism
  8. Smile, walk tall, make eye contact, and proceed
 
Step Two: During the Interaction
  1. Listen closely and openly -- avoid negative thoughts and avoid planning what you’re going to say next
  2. Find your “emotional quiet space” and remain there – don’t join any escalation of emotions
  3. Avoid interrupting or correcting others while they are explaining their position
  4. Stay focused – don’t mentally plan your next steps, there may be a shift that changes everything
  5. Use empathy and understanding – ask questions and listen to the answers
  6. Remain open-minded and curious throughout the discussion
  7. Remember: to understand the other party’s point of view is not giving up your power
 
Step Three: After the Interaction
  1. Take a deep breath, smile, and be glad that you got through the discussion
  2. Debrief by yourself – What did you think would happen? What really happened?
  3. Debrief with a trustworthy and objective person – be open to making adjustments to your thinking
  4. Commit to your next steps with timelines
  5. As before, take care of your needs to feel comfortable
 
Want to schedule a brief no-judgement discussion of your current situation? Contact my offices at (336) 999-4533 during regular business hours (Eastern Time), email me at DonnaColes.Coach@gmail.com or, Click the following link to schedule
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18102228 

Until then…
 

1 Comment
Michael link
1/16/2022 02:22:44 am

Great Article! Thank you for sharing this is very informative post, and looking forward to the latest one.

Reply



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    Donna Coles
    Author

    My Transition From Psychotherapist to Personal Development Coach...

    I was a successful psychotherapist for 30-plus years and I’m still licensed in my home state of Ohio. Two years ago, I made significant adjustments to my life and career and focused my work solely on Coaching.

    Since then, I’ve been asked “how does that fit?”.

    Truth is, some people participate in psychotherapy to help “clarify some things” in their lives and to find direction. For them. it’s a wonderful revelation to know that finding their inner strengths in times of trouble and gaining clarity about current life situations is not a sign of weakness at all. It's a sign of strength.

    It has been said that the most effective coaches draw heavily on theories in psychology and skills-building methods. Both coaching and psychotherapy deal with behavior, emotions and thoughts.

    I have learned that an important key to living an effective life is self-awareness. For this to occur, it often means a journey beyond our current life events and a focus on "why" those events occur. In coaching, I help identify “why” and support my clients’ development of skills to live the life they would like.

    I encourage you to consider working with a professional who provides experience, wisdom and support -- and who also provides you with agreed upon methods of accountability to help encourage you to get things done.

    And, of course, I’d like for you to contact me.

    Would you like more information about my Personal Development Coaching? Or how about a brief, confidential, no-judgement discussion of your current situation? We’ll see if our working together is a good fit.

    Contact my offices at (336) 999-4533 during regular business hours (Eastern Time) or email me at DonnaColes.Coach@gmail.com and we’ll schedule our “getting to know you” conversation.

    Or, Click the following link to schedule a time to talk with me.
    https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18102228  

    Until then…

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