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Personal Development Blog

12/2/2020 1 Comment

Control the Negative and Choose Positive Thinking

A Little Neuroscience – Bear With Me
Like the apps on our cell phones, our brains are always running in the background. Even in our sleep, our brains are noticing and managing what’s happening inside and around us – and making sense of it. Thank goodness for our brains -- on duty in the middle of the night, waking us up when necessary.
 
But our brains don’t control us. We can use our conscious willpower to override our brain’s signals. For example, I see fresh baked cookies. My brain sends signals for my mouth to start watering in preparation for those cookies. I’m ready! But, my conscious mind says “No”. And I walk away – mouth still watering; but I feel good about my decision.
 
My point is that our brains help to guide our conscious thoughts and behavior. But what I haven’t said is that sometimes our brains resurrect negative thoughts that don’t necessarily help us through our current situations. Negative memories can get in the way of healthy problem-solving.
 
The good news is, with our willpower, we can increase the amount of time that we are in control of our thoughts and behavior.
 
Here are some tips to help override your brain’s automatic negative thinking. In time, you’ll likely take more control of your thinking and live more positively more often.
 
With Others
  1. Accept alternate plans when situations don’t go your way – don’t ruminate over it.
  2. When in difficult situations, monitor and adjust your thinking for a healthy frame of mind.
 
Your Thinking
  1. Begin your day with purpose, gratitude, affirmation, and intentions for a good day.
  2. End your day with purpose, gratitude, affirmation, and intentions for tomorrow.
  3. Stay in the present and avoid thinking of worst-case scenarios. They likely won’t happen.
  4. Take the responsibility to steadfastly focus on the present, not the past.
  5. Be good to yourself and appreciate your successes, however small.
  6. Enjoy a bit of humor and laughter every day.
 
Your Relationship with Self
  1. Guard your conscious thinking against self-sabotage and negative self-talk.
  2. Let go of self-consciousness and mentally back away from concern about other people’s opinions of you.
  3. Give yourself permission to feel okay about yourself.
  4. Avoid victim-thinking – avoid allowing your brain to drift back to painful experiences.
 
Set-backs
  1. Be realistic when faced with set-backs -- avoid exaggerating the effects of negative situations.
  2. After a set-back, review your steps and turn your failures into opportunities to learn and grow.
  3. After a set-back, don’t let your brain focus on other set-backs.
 
Would you like more information about this topic? Or how about a brief, no-judgement discussion of your current situation? Contact my offices at (336) 999-4533 or email me at DonnaColes.Coach@gmail.com and we’ll schedule a time to discuss your personal development challenges and identify some options that will help.
 
Or, Click the following link to schedule your discussion with me.
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18102228 

Until then…
1 Comment
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    Donna Coles
    Author

    My Transition From Psychotherapist to Personal Development Coach...

    I was a successful psychotherapist for 30-plus years and I’m still licensed in my home state of Ohio. Two years ago, I made significant adjustments to my life and career and focused my work solely on Coaching.

    Since then, I’ve been asked “how does that fit?”.

    Truth is, some people participate in psychotherapy to help “clarify some things” in their lives and to find direction. For them. it’s a wonderful revelation to know that finding their inner strengths in times of trouble and gaining clarity about current life situations is not a sign of weakness at all. It's a sign of strength.

    It has been said that the most effective coaches draw heavily on theories in psychology and skills-building methods. Both coaching and psychotherapy deal with behavior, emotions and thoughts.

    I have learned that an important key to living an effective life is self-awareness. For this to occur, it often means a journey beyond our current life events and a focus on "why" those events occur. In coaching, I help identify “why” and support my clients’ development of skills to live the life they would like.

    I encourage you to consider working with a professional who provides experience, wisdom and support -- and who also provides you with agreed upon methods of accountability to help encourage you to get things done.

    And, of course, I’d like for you to contact me.

    Would you like more information about my Personal Development Coaching? Or how about a brief, confidential, no-judgement discussion of your current situation? We’ll see if our working together is a good fit.

    Contact my offices at (336) 999-4533 during regular business hours (Eastern Time) or email me at DonnaColes.Coach@gmail.com and we’ll schedule our “getting to know you” conversation.

    Or, Click the following link to schedule a time to talk with me.
    https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18102228  

    Until then…

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