First, let’s define Goal-work: It’s our focused and repeated action that leads to successful achievement of our goals. Goal-work includes problem-solving, goal-setting, and planning. And to support our accomplishment of goals, it’s our Patience and focused Perseverance when the going gets tough. Goal-work helps us create change.
 
What Goal-work Helps Us Do:

• Set priorities and make decisions based on those priorities
• Define and accomplish our life purpose and life satisfactions
• Create changes that makes life worth living
• Align our priorities (thoughts) with how we spend our daily lives (action)
• Have emotional stamina based on our optimism and hope
• Think positively about the future -- especially through adversity

 
When some people talk about their goal-work efforts their perspective suggests dissatisfaction and avoidance of goal-work. They have negative impressions of goal-work because fulfillment of their plans is seldom realized. They say that their plans have never worked out. Their efforts never succeeded.
 
What they are missing is the two Ps of goal-work. Perseverance, having the determination to work through challenges and disappointments. And Patience, understanding that delays are laying the groundwork for future success.
 
To have patience and persistence allows time, adjustments, and preparation to occur allowing your goal achievement to unfold. As you move forward in your goal achievement, there will be moments of surprise and moments of disappointment. There may even be obstacles that are, at the time, insurmountable. But, hang in there, keep pushing, make adjustments to your goals and timelines, adjust the steps that you hoped would lead to your goal achievement. Remember that no road is without twists and turns.
 
If you’ve gotten off track with your goal-work, here’s what you can do:

• Commit today to daily accomplishment of short-term goals and objectives
• Give yourself an emotional boost by surrounding yourself with reminders of your success
• When you’ve reached a milestone or accomplishment, reward yourself
• Change your thinking and motivation levels with affirmations, meditation, & imagery

 
Remember that each of your goals should be focused on one area of your life. Each goal and each step should be simple, concrete, and easy to imagine. And lastly, you should have timely and honest discussions with anyone affected by your goal-work.
 
Until then…
 
 
 
Would you like more information about this topic? Or how about a brief, no-judgement discussion of your current situation? Contact my offices at (336) 999-4533 or email me at DonnaColes.Coach@gmail.com and we’ll schedule a time to discuss your personal development challenges and identify some options that will help.
 
Or, Click the following link to schedule your discussion with me.
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18102228 

Until then…
 

Whether at home or in the office or cubicle, many employees are working longer and harder than ever before. In many instances, because they are working autonomously, they’re also becoming better problem-solvers. And while demands on employees may be rising, availability of employee recognition and increased compensation typically are not.
 
Job satisfaction isn't solely about pay. Employees want to know that their talents and efforts are recognized, valued, and appreciated by those around them. There’s a certain sense of security in knowing that your organization highly regards your contribution. It also builds self-esteem and is empowering.
 
In some cases, however, when employees feel they are being overlooked by management it has nothing to do with length of tenure or even job performance but the employees’ efforts to get noticed.
 
Here are some recommendations to help increase your visibility.
 

1. Evaluate your contributions to the organization and determine if the value you add to the organization warrants recognition. If recognition is merited, prepare for the conversation with specific examples of how you have benefited the organization’s bottom-line. Given your organization’s typical employee recognition process, identify how you would like to be recognized.
   
2. Through your work, build a foundation of mutual purpose and discuss with your organization the powerful connection between a). employee commitment to the needs of the organization and b). the organization’s commitment to powerful motivators like recognition.
   
3. Provide your organization with regular status updates of your work. Candidly discuss projects and the milestones achieved before the information is requested. Taking the initiative to provide timely and accurate communication with management will help get you noticed and not forgotten. Being proactive demonstrates your drive to succeed and makes you and your work difficult to overlook.
   
4. Keep in mind that successful organizations invest in and retain those employees who engage in continuous learning and skills-development. Advise your organization of your completion of self-study and readings about current dilemmas that the organization is facing.
   
5. Employees should clearly communicate their support of management and let management know that the employee is ready and willing to pitch in and assist wherever necessary to help make management's vision a reality.

 
These are the employees who are rarely overlooked.
 
 
Would you like more information about this topic? Or how about a brief, no-judgement discussion of your current situation? Contact my offices at (336) 999-4533 or email me at DonnaColes.Coach@gmail.com and we’ll schedule a time to discuss your personal development challenges and identify some options that will help.
 
Or, Click the following link to schedule your discussion with me.
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18102228 

Until then…

Here are some relaxation tips and techniques to help relieve your stress reactions for your mind, body, and spirit. Choose tips and techniques from each of the four focus areas that may be right for you.
 
Since each person’s reactions and needs are different, you may want to add some of your own.  Then, use what works for you.
 
Would you like more information about this topic? Or how about a brief, no-judgement discussion of your current situation? Contact my offices at (336) 999-4533 or email me at DonnaColes.Coach@gmail.com and we’ll schedule a time to discuss your personal development challenges and identify some options that will help.
 
Or, Click the following link to schedule your discussion with me.
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18102228 

Until then…

A Little Neuroscience – Bear With Me
Like the apps on our cell phones, our brains are always running in the background. Even in our sleep, our brains are noticing and managing what’s happening inside and around us – and making sense of it. Thank goodness for our brains -- on duty in the middle of the night, waking us up when necessary.
 
But our brains don’t control us. We can use our conscious willpower to override our brain’s signals. For example, I see fresh baked cookies. My brain sends signals for my mouth to start watering in preparation for those cookies. I’m ready! But, my conscious mind says “No”. And I walk away – mouth still watering; but I feel good about my decision.
 
My point is that our brains help to guide our conscious thoughts and behavior. But what I haven’t said is that sometimes our brains resurrect negative thoughts that don’t necessarily help us through our current situations. Negative memories can get in the way of healthy problem-solving.
 
The good news is, with our willpower, we can increase the amount of time that we are in control of our thoughts and behavior.
 
Here are some tips to help override your brain’s automatic negative thinking. In time, you’ll likely take more control of your thinking and live more positively more often.
 
With Others

1. Accept alternate plans when situations don’t go your way – don’t ruminate over it.
2. When in difficult situations, monitor and adjust your thinking for a healthy frame of mind.

 
Your Thinking

1. Begin your day with purpose, gratitude, affirmation, and intentions for a good day.
2. End your day with purpose, gratitude, affirmation, and intentions for tomorrow.
3. Stay in the present and avoid thinking of worst-case scenarios. They likely won’t happen.
4. Take the responsibility to steadfastly focus on the present, not the past.
5. Be good to yourself and appreciate your successes, however small.
6. Enjoy a bit of humor and laughter every day.

 
Your Relationship with Self

1. Guard your conscious thinking against self-sabotage and negative self-talk.
2. Let go of self-consciousness and mentally back away from concern about other people’s opinions of you.
3. Give yourself permission to feel okay about yourself.
4. Avoid victim-thinking – avoid allowing your brain to drift back to painful experiences.

 
Set-backs

1. Be realistic when faced with set-backs -- avoid exaggerating the effects of negative situations.
2. After a set-back, review your steps and turn your failures into opportunities to learn and grow.
3. After a set-back, don’t let your brain focus on other set-backs.

 
Would you like more information about this topic? Or how about a brief, no-judgement discussion of your current situation? Contact my offices at (336) 999-4533 or email me at DonnaColes.Coach@gmail.com and we’ll schedule a time to discuss your personal development challenges and identify some options that will help.
 
Or, Click the following link to schedule your discussion with me.
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18102228 

Until then…

Instead of managing difficult interactions, we sometimes entertain the worst-case scenario. Thinking about the worst-case affects our ability to be objective. At that point, we’re not at our best.
 
I offer that making the best of a difficult interaction, whether it’s personal or professional, is a three-step process.
 
Read on to find out what you can do to get through a tough discussion.
 
Step One: Before the interaction (choose what’s best for you)

1. Be proactive and establish a time to convene, don’t leave them hanging
2. Take care of your needs to feel comfortable: quick walk, deep breaths, snack or glass of water
3. Clear your mind of unrealistic fears, relax
4. Gather information that could be helpful to everyone during the discussion
5. Establish your boundaries for the least you’ll accept from the interaction – be realistic
6. Talk about your boundaries with a trustworthy and objective person – be open to making adjustments
7. Take care of your spirit and find your optimism
8. Smile, walk tall, make eye contact, and proceed

 
Step Two: During the Interaction

1. Listen closely and openly -- avoid negative thoughts and avoid planning what you’re going to say next
2. Find your “emotional quiet space” and remain there – don’t join any escalation of emotions
3. Avoid interrupting or correcting others while they are explaining their position
4. Stay focused – don’t mentally plan your next steps, there may be a shift that changes everything
5. Use empathy and understanding – ask questions and listen to the answers
6. Remain open-minded and curious throughout the discussion
7. Remember: to understand the other party’s point of view is not giving up your power

 
Step Three: After the Interaction

1. Take a deep breath, smile, and be glad that you got through the discussion
2. Debrief by yourself – What did you think would happen? What really happened?
3. Debrief with a trustworthy and objective person – be open to making adjustments to your thinking
4. Commit to your next steps with timelines
5. As before, take care of your needs to feel comfortable

 
Want to schedule a brief no-judgement discussion of your current situation? Contact my offices at (336) 999-4533 during regular business hours (Eastern Time), email me at DonnaColes.Coach@gmail.com or, Click the following link to schedule
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18102228 

Until then…
 

Here’s an activity to identify the areas in your daily living that contribute to your life’s balance and imbalances.
 
Keep in mind that life balance is a dynamic state that we only hope to sustain. Life changing events can happen any day; and your definition of life balance may be altered – sometimes forever.
 
What I’m suggesting today is that you take some time to identify your satisfaction with how you currently spend your time 0-5, your satisfaction with how you would like to spend your time 0-5, and develop your plan to close the gap between the two life experiences – to match how your life is with how you’d like your life to be.
 
Would you like more information about this topic? Or how about a brief, no-judgement discussion of your current situation? Contact my offices at (336) 999-4533 or email me at DonnaColes.Coach@gmail.com and we’ll schedule a time to discuss your personal development challenges and identify some options that will help.
 

Or, Click the following link to schedule your discussion with me.
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18102228 

Until then…

In the heat of the moment, we sometimes forget about the basic communication skills that help us get the most from our relationships. Here’s a refresher for you. Tips for focusing on points of view and not on winning the battle.
 
Six Tips to Help Support Your Speaker

1. Show that your goal is to simply hear what’s being said – not just to have your say. Instead of planning what you’re going to say next, stay present in the moment and focus on the speaker’s point of view. 
   
2. Pay close attention to what’s being said. Be able to repeat the speaker’s message, not your opinion of what was said. When the speaker is finished, show your commitment to a favorable outcome by repeating the speaker’s point of view in your own words. The speaker will appreciate that you were listening.
3. Use your positive energy while listening to the speaker. At appropriate times make a connection by nodding your head in agreement, shaking your head in agreement, or making good eye contact, for example. Your nonverbals that show that you’re actively listening will support the speaker.
4. Don’t allow the environment to distract you – focus on the speaker and the discussion. Suggest a change in location, if needed, to reduce distractions.
5. Respect the speaker by listening to WHAT is being said, not HOW it is being said – nobody likes their grammar, language, tone, or body language corrected when they are explaining themselves and their point of view. Choose your battles wisely. Is the speaker’s nonverbal communication more important than what’s being said?
6. Take responsibility for any confusion or misunderstanding about the speaker’s message. Ask questions for clarification. Apologize for your lack of clarity.

 
Six Tips to Help Support Your Point of View

1. Take responsibility for your point of view and state it clearly. Don’t expect the listener to guess the meaning of your words. Don’t assume that the listener has access to the same information that you have access to. What do you want the listener to know? Again, make no assumptions.
2. Assure that the listener understands the intent of what you’re saying by giving the listener opportunities to ask questions. Remain open to explaining the intent of your message. You may have to repeat your intent to the listener. Are you providing the listener with information or would you like action to occur as a result of the discussion?
3. Don’t look for agreement too quickly, just seek mutual understanding of points of view. Then find out if more information is required before agreement can be reached.
4. Has the listener understood your point of view much differently than how you intended? Does the listener look uncomfortable? Perhaps, angry? A good speaker is aware of the listener’s nonverbals such as a prolonged facial expression that reflects negative reactions to what’s being said., loss of eye contact, blank stare, eye-rolling, anxious tapping of the foot, hand, or fingers, etc. Is it possible that you’ve used a word or phrase that the listener found offensive? Do you need to ask? Do you need to take a break?
5. Your communication is part verbal (what you’ve said), and part nonverbal (how you’ve said it) It’s important to monitor your words and nonverbals to assure that the message that you intend to send is the message that you’ve sent.
6. Are you aware of your body language habits? Do you know that there are body language habits that communicate disinterest or hostility? Some of the more troublesome nonverbal habits are invading personal space with your body or hands, lack of response with staring, and poor eye contact. For additional examples, see 4 above. Do you have habits that could impede your communications?  Think about your nonverbal communication skills as you speak.  If the message you want to send and the message you send don’t seem to match up, consider how your nonverbal behavior could be affecting your message. If you often feel misunderstood, your body language may be the culprit.
   

Would you like more information about this topic? Or how about a brief, no-judgement discussion of your current situation? Contact my offices at (336) 999-4533 or email me at DonnaColes.Coach@gmail.com and we’ll schedule a time to discuss your personal development challenges and identify some options that will help.
 
Or, Click the following link to schedule your discussion with me.
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18102228 

Until then…

It’s said that highly successful people don’t rely on easy wins and that they tend to avoid accepting challenges that are impossible to achieve. Instead, successful people are said to measure the likelihood of success against the likelihood of failure. And as a result, they tend to accept challenges that will cause them to stretch – but not cause them to strain and break.
 
There’s a certain mindset that supports successful accomplishment. I’ve captured this mindset in thirteen steps. (See below) You’ll want to start with step one (at the bottom) and move forward to step thirteen. They can help support you along your path to success.

Want to schedule a brief no-judgement discussion of your current situation? Contact my offices at (336) 999-4533 during regular business hours (Eastern Time), email me at DonnaColes.Coach@gmail.com or, Click the following link to schedule
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18102228 

Until then…
Please share

Tough encounters can be stressful. And overall, a little positive stress can motivate you. Positive stress can help you focus. This type of stress is the butterflies in your stomach before you speak before a group. Positive stress can increase your commitment to a positive outcome.
 
 Negative stress on the other hand can likely prepare you to bicker and quarrel. That would make a tough encounter even tougher.
 
Here are some suggestions to reduce negative stress before you enter into what could become a difficult discussion.
 
But, first, you’ll want to decide on the role that you are going to play – will you present with positive stress or negative stress?
 
Prepare mentally (1, 2, 5, 8, 10, 12), physically (3, 4), and emotionally (6, 7, 9, 11) for the discussion by following these steps

1. Make your decision – will you do what it takes for peaceful resolution or do you plan to be RIGHT?
2. Think positively “I know I can handle this” or “I will be okay” or “I have control of myself”
3. Take some deep breaths while you relax your shoulders
4. Smile and relax you face
5. Know your options – you’re not stuck! You can take a break when you need to regroup
6. When necessary, regain your positive stress (return to step one)
7. Relax, allow the other person to speak first without interruption
8. Listen carefully and take your time before answering
9. Slow down and think through your responses
10. Carefully choose your response
11. If you're being criticized, don't fight back or overtalk
12. Calm the situation by giving reasonable (and available) compromises that you can live with

 
Would you like more information about this topic? Or how about a brief, no-judgement discussion of your current situation? Contact my offices at (336) 999-4533 or email me at DonnaColes.Coach@gmail.com and we’ll schedule a time to discuss your personal development challenges and identify some options that will help.
 
Or, Click the following link to schedule your discussion with me.
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18102228 

Until then…

What makes us the most comfortable may be what stands in the way of our progress. Our comfort zones are our habits that help us reduce stress in the moment. When overused, our comfort zones contribute to loss of productivity. They become our extended or habitual escapes from our realities.
 
When we engage in many of the activities listed below too often or for too long, we feel good about ourselves, we seem busy, we enjoy our mental get-away, and in some cases we avoid conflict. However, we miss opportunities to meet our goals, become more self-motivated, enhance our emotional growth, and make ourselves accountable.
 
If you find a comfort zone activity in this list that you overuse, perhaps this is an opportunity for self-improvement and accountability. Take a look. See if you have an opportunity to improve your use of time.
 
Task-related

• Accepting tasks when saying "No” is more appropriate
• Seeking the opinions of others to slow down your decision-making
• Postponing your work by allowing interruptions
• Creating elaborate to-do-lists with color-coding and complex tables
• Lack of delegation to others
• Multitasking – stalling progress by incorporating an additional task into the same time slot
• Working on an enjoyable but low priority task when there are important deadlines

 
 
Time Management-related

• No established routines for daily or repeated activities
• Perfectionism, checking and rechecking making timely submission difficult
• Postponing difficult and unpleasant tasks while opting to focus attention on easier and enjoyable tasks
• Procrastinating in order to create a crisis requiring you to drop everything and put out fires
• Wasted time with disorganization -- and inadequate preparation, prioritization, and planning

 
Personal Escapes-related

• Socializing
• Snacking
• Planning an imaginary get-away
• Daydreaming
• Watching television
• Streaming videos
• Taking a nap
• Tidying up your office, home, etc.

 
Relationship-related

• Welcoming drop-in visitors and dropping-in to visit others
• Taking every telephone call and making unnecessary phone calls
• Volunteering to “help” others
• Unnecessary meetings, telephone calls, text-messaging, and drop-in visits

 
Technology-related

• Checking voicemail and e-mail when you don’t have time to reply
• Checking emails and social media too often throughout the day
• Procrastinating with social media browsing, posting, sharing, commenting, liking, and updating
• Playing games on your laptop, tablet, or cell phone

 
You may have a comfort zone that’s not included on the list. Add it to the list and make a decision about how you will use each of your comfort zones. Perhaps they can be used as rewards for a job well done and not an escape from doing a job.
 
Best wishes!
 
Want to schedule a brief no-judgement discussion of your current situation? Contact my offices at (336) 999-4533 during regular business hours (Eastern Time), email me at DonnaColes.Coach@gmail.com or, Click the following link to schedule
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18102228 

Until then…